A Potential for Greater Love and Freedom
If the stories I am about to describe sound familiar, you are not alone. Believe it or not, for a few years my life, I too lived in constant stress in a marriage that I left in order to heal. I’ve kept my conversation about this to a minimum out of respect for the fact that I have forgiven myself and my ex-husband for what was a necessary experience; one through which that I grew immensely.
But, there seems to be an interesting theme popping up that I am really curious about. Longing for healing, peace, movement on business ideas, happiness and prosperity, I’ve had several conversations over the last year with people that have subordinated their power to choose for themselves in exchange for their spouses controlling even the most basic decisions. Many of them hide the entirety of their spiritual lives, afraid of sharing how they relate to God and sneaking off (one person even has to call from their laundry room) to attend a teleclass or go to church. For some it is more subtle. They live under the same roof but lack intimacy or the level of friendship that would make their hearts sing.
Others are forced to literally “embezzle” from their allotted allowance for grocery money and have no money of their own. They are not permitted to make decisions about money because their spouse has full control of the bank accounts. They are questioned and ridiculed them any time they attempt to do something that is good for them. My heart just breaks at the thought of living in a marriage where one has to hide or live in a constant level of fear or vigilance. It breaks because I still remember my long drive home after working 9, sometimes 10 hours at the jail only to enter my own self-made prison when I walked in the front door of my own home.
A few months ago, I reflected on a profound question. Could I have healed and stayed in my first marriage or did leaving it actually pave the way to embrace the miraculous possibility of the blessed life I lead today?
My answer was instantaneous, and looking back, I see that my decision to pack up my two babies, enough clothes to get us through winter, and my picture albums (two car seats in a Honda Accord took up a lot of room!), and move in with my parents, was the genesis of my radical and instant healing from Lupus a few weeks later.
The next few years were difficult, and yet, looking back I wouldn’t have changed a thing. As much as I had unconsciously handed my life story over to be written by another, these chapters where just as important as the ones I have written since that fateful night on January 11, 1997 when I took back my freedom.
I write this not to add to the shame of living a secret life or being afraid to be who you truly are. Rather, I write this to share that change is both possible and often necessary. Yes, I lost all of my possessions. Yes, I moved to a new town with no friends except for my parents. And, yes, I sacrificed and struggled to get my life in order and ultimately start over. But, as a result, I found a deeper relationship with myself and God. I gained so much more than I lost. I healed after a decade of debilitating pain and one failed marriage. I bonded with a spiritual family and met my new in-laws a full year before meeting their son Brent, falling in love, and co-creating a love story that is still my favorite one to date. I took the time to examine the part my own decisions had contributed to accepting a life that no one should ever have to live. I forgave, I grew, and I found the love of a God that opened me to transcend the burdens that once defined every aspect of my life.
In 1998, a year to the date after leaving my first marriage, Brent, whom I had not yet met, found his own pathway to his healing. Unaware for several years that January 11 held such significance, we released www.thepowerofmywaymovie.com (a song we co-wrote) and my first book, The Power of Our Way; A Path to a Collective Consciousness, on January 11, 2006.
Now, almost three years later, our ways of serving have expanded and shifted and our marriage is my most treasured, fun, free, creative, inspiring relationships of anyone I have ever known. What is most important is that there is no hiding. Love is truly unconditional. He is the first person I talk to when in pain and the first person I share my good news with. I can show up messy and I can show up brilliant. We have spoken at weddings and funerals of friends and relatives, opened our home to the struggling, lost a lot and gained even more.
This is what is possible when a spiritual partnership is created between two people from a place of equality, mutual trust and a commitment to serve one another from a higher place. We are not just married to each other, rather, we see and feel the presence of a Divine Source that creates the very foundation for who we are and what we do. Neither of us is the boss, nor are we the source of all of each other’s good, happiness, or abundance. We live big in the world and yet, at the beginning and end of each day, we come together in reverence for the dream we are living. We honor what each of us brings into the co-creation of a beautiful reality that neither of us could have claimed a dozen years ago on our own.
And, this is our wish for you; to be happy and feel whole. To look in your partners eyes and know you are loved and supported and respected. To feel God moving through your marriages and partnerships through your words, your touch, and your committed faith and presence in one another’s lives. To be a witness for one another’s evolutions. To hold one another in the highest intention and to trust each other to treat you as you deserve to be treated. To not live in fear or hesitation of speaking up for what you want and need. To be mastermind partners and healers to each other. To be excited to be of loving service to one another and feel honored that you receive and give passionately from a place of wholeness.
This is why Brent and I mentor other couples and individuals who desire to co-create spiritual partnerships. As mentors and guides, we hold a space for expansion and healing and bring all of who we are into helping families embrace a potential of love and freedom that will inspire their children, families and friends to do the same.
This week, we co-facilitated a class called Awakening Your Inner Shaman and you can listen to it at this link http://playaudio-345.com/play.asp?m=538619&f=ESRSTM&ps=7&p=1 or download it by signing up at www.powerofmyway.com/awakeningthehealerwithin.html
To schedule a spiritual mentoring or healing session with one or both of us, I invite you to connect with us and explore couples or private coaching and spiritual mentoring sessions or a private retreat.
Email me at [email protected] or Brent at [email protected] or call us at 904-217-7684 to set up a time to explore your dreams of co-creating a different way of being in relationship.
Many blessings on your path to a co-created freedom and life of expanded possibilities!
Namasté, Brent and Anita Law
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