This morning, when reading a political column asking for reader input, I found myself wanting to respond.
It all began with a request to comment on the recent firing of shock jock, Imus, and his recent bad judgment and public faux pas. To me, as disrespectful as his choice in language was, his behaviors and society's response, are indicative of a larger issue and opportunity we have as a culture and as a human race.
Bad choice in words on Imus’s part, yet quite typical of shock jocks and quite revealing of lack of judgment on his part. Words however are not necessarily revealing of true character – as a society we say, on one hand, “It’s not what you say, it’s what you do,” but just look at how obsessed we have become on catching people put their foot in their mouth and then permanently define who they are based on one really stupid rant.
My sense is there was not much of choice on the part of the network, however, our societal tendency to crush people for one mistake is a symptom of a fundamental lack of forgiveness and an ongoing tendency to immediately look to someone to take the heat and blame for a whole slew of historical missteps and misjudgments.
Conservative or liberal, we have seen inappropriate commentaries, insults and unacceptable behavior and comments from public figures for years. If you just surf TV channels, news stations, political ads, reality TV, gossip columns, and the Internet you will find lots of evidence that Americans have become addicted to fear, gossip, conflict and drama. We love conflict, love slamming people and look for every opportunity to take people down by magnifying one comment or a major slip in behavior and completely dismiss what may, on some level be a lifetime of contribution.
Why?
Because as a society we LOVE to Hate. We love to gossip. We love to finger point and blame. We focus on the symptoms (behaviors) and not the root causes (our values and beliefs). We love to emphasize everyone else’s mistakes and screw ups as a way to distract us from truth and personal responsibility for what we have collectively created in our society. We vote people into office, we watch trashy news and television, buy trashy magazines, papers, movies and music and seem to forget that "what we ask for is what we get."
What sells stays and let’s face it, conflict, fear, drama, and gossip are staples of American culture and on a fundamental level we love to stay in resentment and fear and are incredibly unforgiving.
Mel Gibson, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and an army of disrespectful conservatives are still making a very good living talking trash and spreading hate and ultimately it seems regardless of their missteps, as a society we seem to be OK with letting them continue. Michael Richards, Don Imus, The Dixie Chicks, now even Alec Baldwin, get caught with their pants down and we see firings, boycotts and ruined careers.
Music and videos that objectify women, sex and violence make millions. Howard Stearn, one of the most disrespectful people on the planet, has a consistent following of lovers and haters, yet more evidence of the addiction to conflict and hatred in our society.
Ann Coulter receives lots of laughter and clapping (not to mention money) from her audiences, some of whom I am sure got on the anti-Imus bandwagon. George Bush says stupid things all the time and got re-elected.
Heck, we can all look back over our lives and find tons of things we each wish we hadn’t said and done– thank God our spouses, families and children are forgiving and a lot of this occurred behind closed doors without a tape recorder or video camera to catch us in bad moments wrought with bad judgment and angry or hurt hearts. If you are honest, you’ll also find lots of things you thought but didn’t say and are probably glad you didn’t.
So, should Imus have gotten fired? Yes, I suppose so…and, his behavior (and other’s) and the world’s responses are only symptoms and reflections of a multitude of larger issues in our society that we refuse to address with honesty, truthfulness, and cooperation.
Polarization, either/or thinking, divisiveness and making people wrong have become what we are about as a society. These habits alone make it very difficult to come together on anything so we stay in perpetual conflict and on some level love it.
Freedom of Speech is great when we exercise decency and good choices. Personal accountability and honesty; and I mean true representation of truth and facts, not just opinions or beliefs, is what we really need to be focusing on in our society. Being a little nicer wouldn’t hurt either and frankly, we are not very nice and certainly not forgiving.
Let’s be honest. Hate breeds hate and we keep coming back for refills. Until we stop, the principle of supply and demand rules…
Until we raise our own consciousness and engage in behaviors that are more consistent with what we want to create, first beginning with ourselves and in our own personal lives, how can we expect others to do so?
It's time to come together and heal ourselves from this addiction to conflict, hate, gossip and drama. It's time to take a higher level of responsibility for our own choices and stop looking to slam others as a way to make ourselves feel better.
Ready to do something about it and join together in a positive way? Unite for healing and peace at www.unitedforhealing.com
Namaste, Anita
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